Living in the Land of What-ifs

I have a confession to make: after 47 years of being a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, in my heart of hearts I am still a pessimist.

Granted, I am not the kind of pessimist who wears a constant frown and grumbles (or shouts) about everything that is irksome in life. I wear my fair share of smiles. I love to laugh. I love babies and the word “adorable.” But do I believe in Murphy’s Law? As the granddaughter of an Irish revolutionary, I am duty-bound to say, “Yes, I do.”

Honestly, too often I find myself taking up residence in the “Land of What-ifs.” What’s more, I don’t even know I’ve “gone there” until I look around a bit and ask myself how I got there. It’s a “what just happened” kind of feeling, a feeling I’ve experienced throughout my Christian life.

I went to college as a new believer. These were my worries:

What if I choose the wrong major?

What if I have to talk to strangers?

How am I going to pay for all of this?

Did the Lord come through for me? Did He make His ways known to me as I learned to listen to Him in prayer and in my Bible reading? He absolutely did. I got my degree, learned to speak to strangers, and paid off my student loans. He did all of that. 

More than that, I really learned to embrace the truth of Romans 8:38: “nothing can separate (me) from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus (my) Lord.” That fact was true, and I had it in my heart and mind to hold.

But did I go back to the Land of What-ifs? 

Sadly, I did, many times.

In fact, I can look back at being a newlywed, a new mom, and a grieving daughter and know that my first instinct, even in my God-fearing heart, is to say, “what if…” 

I did it yesterday!

It all comes down to choices, doesn’t it? I could choose to expect every worst possible scenario and work myself into a hysterical, crying mess on the floor. I mean, sometimes things look really scary and bleak. Sometimes it’s really hard to remember the beginning part of that scripture in Romans that references so many calamities against which we are protected by God’s love: death or life, angels or demons, the present or the future, and anything else in all creation. None of these things can separate me from God’s love.

Wouldn’t it be so much better for me (or you) to dwell on that? It seems that there is no future event or illness, or even any minor daily ache that can come between me and my Father who bears my burdens (daily!) and loves me just as I am.

The answer to all of my what-ifs, and all of yours, too, is always the same: God is with us, and He will not abandon us. No matter what happens, He is there.

So my choice today is to move to the Land of What-ifs or to follow in the wisdom of King David, as recommended in Psalm 37.

“Trust in the LORD and do good:

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:3-4

I can choose to dwell in this land, the “Land of Trust and Faithfulness.”

It’s a land where I can learn not to fret (Psalm 37:1,7,8). I can learn to do the hard things like trusting and waiting if my heart is not busy fretting instead.

It’s a land where I can learn to do good and befriend faithfulness. I can dwell there and grow to understand what it means to delight myself in the Lord (Psalm 37:4). I know that’s got to be so much better than counting my sorrows and enumerating them to my own heart.

When I dwell where God dwells, I think maybe my fears will wither and die. Yes, it probably will take the repeated times of anxiety and worry and recovering from all of it to truly quit my fears, but there is a future hope attached there. The Land of What-ifs offers me no hope.

King David ends with this note of encouragement: 

“The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;

  he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.”

Psalm 37:39

Can I remember all of this today?

Please, Lord! Let it be so!