Rest for Our Anxious Hearts
By Ellen Green
Have you ever woken up at approximately 4:36am with an anxious thought, a worry, or a recurring, deep-seated fear? I know I have. In fact, that’s how I woke up this morning.
It’s alright if you think I’m crazy, but I will admit that today was not the first time I woke up in this position. Sometimes it’s something that one of my kids is going through that wakes me up in the early morning hours. Though they may be fully functioning and competent adults, they never stop being your babies, even if they are now over six feet tall, or running marathons and getting married, or taking on the world in New York City. Crazy and illogical, but that’s how I feel sometimes.
I’ve woken up other mornings wondering if my dog Clancy is still alive. He’s a two-time cancer survivor whose legs are not really holding him up very well recently. He hasn’t given up the fight yet, as his name, “son of the red warrior,” suggests, but sometimes a mama worries.
This morning I tried to calm myself down by speaking truth to my heart, a practice I am noticing that I really need to do every single day. I felt anxious about issues that are totally beyond my control. I have no influence over outcomes, good or bad. All I can do is trust God and rest in His great power and love, and speak this truth back to myself.
To say, “all I can do is trust God” is a sad understatement in a situation like this one. Is there anything better, or more powerful, or more timely than trusting God when you are afraid?
I understood this truth most clearly this morning in my devotions with my husband. One of the passages we read, totally unplanned, was Psalm 23. Here are just a few of the comforts I found there after my unsettled and disturbed early morning.
My soul was anxious and I did not know what to do. I read:
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.”
He gave me rest in my quiet living room, and He reminded me that He would lead me in any difficulty that may appear. In the next verses, God reminded me that He would go with me even through death and darkness. With Him beside me, I do not need to fear. With His rod and staff He will direct and comfort me as He leads. It’s ok that I have no control because He controls it all. I really needed to hear that!
He will feed me in the presence of my enemies, and He will bless me with oil on my head. Reading those verses really did make my cup overflow. The truth I needed to tell myself is that He will always be there for me and with me. Why do I look inward to my own abilities when He is waiting with all of His power? I was and am amazed and very thankful that He cares for me so completely.
This feeling of gratitude is beautifully expressed in the final verse of the psalm:
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”
After He leads me all of my days, through joy and sorrow, testing and doubting and back again to trust, David reminds me of the promise of eternity in God’s glorious presence. Hallelujah! What a reward!
So here I sit on my back deck in the beautiful July sunshine, at rest and in peace. Though I do not like to hold on to anxious thoughts and helpless worry, I see how wonderfully God has turned it all around for me through His Word. I am so grateful for that! God is real, as my little friend Aubrey reminded me many years ago, and He is present, and He has given me His Word to lead and guide me, and comfort me.
Oh, what a Savior!